Escaping Your Regrets! #53

We all live with regrets, but as Mark Batterson writes…….”our long lasting regrets will be the opportunities we left on the table.  Those are the if onlys that haunt us to the grave and back.”Are regrets holding you back from accomplishing God’s plans for your life?  This podcast is designed to help you leave those regrets behind so you can move forward with God’s divine purpose for your life.  It’s time to “Finish Strong!” (You won’t REGRET it!)

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Transcript

Dan Wheeler: 0:02

We only really remember like 3% of our lives. 97% fades to black fades in the distance,

Terry Steen: 0:09

I think I'm down to one and a half, right?

Dan Wheeler: 0:11

One and a half. Okay, yeah. So you're going the wrong way.

Brian Roland: 0:15

That's brain size.

Dan Wheeler: 0:16

That's that 3% are either your greatest successes or your greatest failures and embarrassments.

John Matarazzo: 0:23

Live your life with purpose, change someone's life for the better, and leave a lasting impact on those around you. Welcome to finish strong, the podcast designed to help you discover your unique purpose and develop a plan to leave a powerful legacy. Dan, Brian and Terry are ready. So let's get started.

Dan Wheeler: 0:40

There are two regrettable little words in the English language. And they are if only How many times have you said it? If only I had gotten my degree, if only I had been able to land a different job if only I had married someone else. Those if only is that keep running through our minds is sometimes a hard to escape. Well. There are two other little words that are very hopeful. And those words are what if? What if you could change your if only? What if you knew that your earphones were behind you and forgiven? And now the possibility of what if exist? I'm your host, Dan Wheeler, along with Terry Steen, and Brian rollin. We are talking to you about something that we feel is important as we finish strong in life. And that is letting go of our regrets. Terry, we all have regrets. I don't care who you are. I know you've lived close to a perfect life. But,

Terry Steen: 1:44

Greg, yeah. Yeah, I would probably be afraid to try to sit down and begin listing my regrets. But I'm sure there's a few major ones that come to mind that I'd be more than happy to share as we get into it today. But I'm excited to be here. And I hope we have a great discussion.

Dan Wheeler: 2:05

I'm not sure any of us. Well, I'm not sure if Brian has enough ink and paper to list all his just, Brian, you have a few regrets. Tell us.

Brian Roland: 2:13

You know, I was I was thinking long and hard about it. And I had, yeah, there's a lot of regrets in there that I can't imagine. There's there's a lot of regrets. But I'll tell you one thing that kept coming back to me. And that was the regret that when I got out of school, I went back to Cleveland. And I only spent about a month there before I went on the Florida. And my dad passed away at that following that August, which was just a little over a month after that. And when I went back there, I said I was going to spend time with my family. And I didn't do it. And that that's always bothered me.

Dan Wheeler: 2:47

Well, you know, we all come to those forks in the road. And you have to make decisions really hard when you can't see the future. That's where you really have to trust in God to direct you yet, Terry?

Terry Steen: 2:59

Yeah, I was when Brian said that one of the initial regrets that came to my mind was right around that time. And I guess when you get out of college, there's not much of a bigger fork in the road, then what are you going to do for your career is there. So I had a choice to go to three different states to try to establish myself and I chose to go to Florida, because that's where my wife Karen was. And in that process, I began looking for a job. I was engaged to get married. I was having to live with my in laws over this summer. And I couldn't find a job. And so I was getting more panic stricken. And I'm sitting here wondering what the in laws are thinking. And so I ended up going, we were in Clearwater, I ended up going to Jacksonville and literally signing up with a agency, a personnel agency to help me find a job. And it cost$500 And I didn't have the money. And my father in law had just given Karen a $500 graduation gift. Yes, where my$500

Dan Wheeler: 4:20

Wow. regrets that

Terry Steen: 4:25

I've spent for graduation gift of $500. And out of it I got a job at 84 lumber, loading wood. Working in Florida from seven in the morning. I was just I had sweat rings, all salt rings all over my clothes. And I gave $500 to get the job. So yeah, there's regret.

Dan Wheeler: 4:51

Well, at least we can laugh about it now, you know, but some people have huge regrets and as this whole issue of row vs. Wade has been in the news this week, and people are screaming from the left and from the right. I mean, I've known people who regret that they gave up a child. And that's one of those. If only, if only, I'd have had that baby or maybe even given it up for adoption. And, you know, without getting too political, I just want to say that God can turn any if only into what if no matter how huge you may think it is, maybe you're living with these huge regrets, maybe that's one of them. Or maybe you just destroyed a relationship with one of your children or a family member, and you can't seem to get it back. God can help you. So no matter what your if only is, what if can be greater. I remember I started a company, when I left the Christian TV station with a partner. And you know, it was great, but my heart was never totally in it. And in less than two years, I'd sold my shares and went to CBN. And it turned into a great career. I will tell you, my former partner who stayed with that business has a lot more money than I do. But you know what, I'm happy and I was happy with that choice. But we all can look back and find those if only moments. And those regrets can haunt you. But you know, there's such great news, we're gonna get into it. It's called The Great Eight. Romans, chapter eight is filled with so much hope. And it starts out the first verse, There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who ought not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. That's great news, guys, no matter what you've done, if you're in Christ Jesus, there's no condemnation, but there is a requirement, it does go on to say, Who Walked not after the flesh, but after the Spirit, that's really important, Brian, we need to stop following the flesh and start following the spirit.

Brian Roland: 7:00

It's true. So very true. And I think that is one of the things that a lot of Christians are say they're Christians they are and they really mean it. They believe that they know they're Christian because I accepted Christ. But they don't let the Spirit lead them. They try to go their own way. And when you go their own way, but I've done it, then I did it for years. You just, it's your flesh going what it wants to do. It's not really being led by the Spirit. And when that happens, you're just going around the same mountain time and time and time again. It's like, Oh, my God, I didn't do this all over again, what is going on? But that's what happens with life. I think when you don't let the Spirit take over. Like he he's lives in your heart now. Yes, Jesus in your heart. Now he's supposed to be your his, and we're supposed to follow his lead, and we decide to follow ours. And that's when everything goes right.

Terry Steen: 7:49

Yeah, I'm reminded of that scripture in Philippians, third, chapter 13, and 14, where it says, brother, and I don't count myself to have apprehended but one thing I do, forgetting those things that are behind, and reaching forward to those things are ahead. And this is Paul talking, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. And that's where we put the regrets behind us. That's where we have to get about him. Because we have to reach forward to the what ifs and that's what Paul's talking about. Pressing forward to the prize of that upward call.

Dan Wheeler: 8:26

Yeah, we've we've all been reading a book called if by Mark Batterson. It's an excellent book on this topic, talks about trading your if only regrets for God's What if possibilities, and there are so many good things in there. But I feel that one of Satan's biggest tricks is to get us out of the present. Either we're looking back and filled with regret, and we can't get past it. Or we're always thinking, when this happens, you know, when I make another 25,000 a year, then I'll really be happy and I'll live that life. But we're not looking at what's right in front of us. And that's where we need to be in God's will in the very present right now. Would you agree with that? I mean, I think St gets you looking back or looking forward too much. You're missing life

Brian Roland: 9:17

totally. And I remember Rex Humbert doing a sermon on that one time saying you cannot drive, looking in the rearview mirror the whole time. Because you have to see the road in front of you. You have to keep your eyes forward, says and we all do it. We glance up every now and then we have to look and says and that'll come back. But then you got to use that to move forward. You just cannot. Don't let that crash into you just keep moving forward.

Dan Wheeler: 9:39

And we need to stop remembering what God has already forgotten. You know, it says that he removes our transgressions as far as the east is from the west. You can't get any further but we tend to bring them up again and remember them. Mark Batterson talks in his book about how we only really remember Number like 3% of our lives 97% fades to black fades in the distance,

Terry Steen: 10:06

I think I'm down to one and a half a half. Okay,

Dan Wheeler: 10:10

so you the wrong way.

Brian Roland: 10:12

It's brain size. That's

Dan Wheeler: 10:14

but that 3% are either your greatest successes or your greatest failures and embarrassments. And I thought that was interesting.

Terry Steen: 10:22

Yeah, yeah. Which reminds me of, you know, there's, I'm sure we could find tons of examples in the Bible, but you look at the ultimate regrets. And there's two guys that come to my mind. And that's Judas. And Peter, on that 90 was betrayed. And you look at the two guys, and how they reacted to the regret. And that's where we have to make the decision. We don't want to be the Judas, we don't want to be the one who went ahead, couldn't get it behind him couldn't forget committed suicide. We want to be the Peter, who's the one who even though he had the regret, even though he wanted to go back fishing, the minute he saw Jesus, he jumped out of the boat, and he got to Jesus as quick as he could. And that's where Jesus turned the story. That's where Jesus turned the if only to the what if, because that's where Jesus said, we feed my sheep. And that's where he gave Peter his, his orders for his future life and what he wanted him to do. And he became one of the greatest pastors in the church and one of the greatest writers and shepherds. And it's how we react to that regret,

Dan Wheeler: 11:43

he became the rock. Jesus said, You know, you're the rock on this rock, I will build my church when he changed his name from Simon to Peter. And I mean, that's the great hope. Yeah, Brian,

Brian Roland: 11:55

I was gonna say when Terry was, was talking about Judas and Peter, the one that came to my mind was the guy that went to Jesus, so what must I do? And he says, Go get rid of Sell, sell everything, get rid of everything. And the guy was a wealthy man, come follow me. And he didn't do it. So that was what if, if he would do it? Or if only if only I've done this, what would happen if this man's life one thing about in the Bible, you never hear about him again? He's he that's just that one story and he's gone. But like, Peters case, you hear about a Paul through the New Testament.

Dan Wheeler: 12:29

Well, this chapter eight of Romans is filled with with great news. And when you jump ahead to Romans eight, six, it says, For to be carnally minded as death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Now, that's a key we have to change our mindset. And we need to anchor our thoughts to good things. And I think of, you know, Philippians, four, eight, I'm not going to quote the whole thing. But you know, he says, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are noble, what sort of things are right, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever, things are lovely, whatsoever things are admirable, if there be any praise, that's the thing to folks, we need to anchor our mind to those thoughts because we know Satan attacks us in our mind. But when we focus on those things in the present, all of our if onlys can become what if possibilities,

Terry Steen: 13:19

that's where Judas messed up. Because he couldn't do that where Peter could, right and it as as the Bible says, it can end in death.

Brian Roland: 13:30

And it goes back to we were saying before about letting you yourself, your your flesh take over instead of the Spirit. And to be carnally minded, just be using your what's your thoughts on what you think you should do? And that's going to bring death but to be spiritually minded, let Christ leading you, the Holy Spirit lead you that will bring you like minded peace of the Aviva right? Life

Dan Wheeler: 13:53

LISTENING to the Holy Spirit and listen, that of listening to ourselves and it comes down to who's going to be on the throne of your life who's going to be in charge? That's the great question. And that's you see it in mankind today with all the humanism humanistic thinking that man is his own God and we create our own destiny. You know, if you look at the self help books are out there. It's all about trying so we go through Romans eight don't we see so many things you go down to Romans 811. And you see a real catalyst for change. It says But if the Spirit of Him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwelling you he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by His Spirit that dwells within you. Now, guys, this word Quicken is really interesting, because it literally means bodily resurrection. Think about though everything about you being resurrected and being new. Your thoughts? You're going to have explosive thoughts explosive what ifs because God the Holy Spirit is going to put those thoughts in your mind, because you've been Quicken. You've been alive.

Terry Steen: 15:06

Yeah, that reminds me of that verse in Isaiah, the 43rd chapter. It's 18 and 19. It says, Don't remember the former things, don't consider the things of old, Behold, I will do a new thing. And that's what he wants to do with our lives. Now it shall spring forth, shall you not know it, I'll even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. And that's what he wants to do in our life, if we'll just forget what's behind us and move forward. He wants to give us those rivers in the desert.

Dan Wheeler: 15:40

You think about that word quick, and it's lively, it's active, and a river produces life, it's flowing, whereas a pond is stagnant. It doesn't have any outlet. And we can't, we can't flow in Christ. If we're not telling others if we're not doing if we're not serving others, and letting them see Christ in us. If we're just keeping it inside us, then we're not going anywhere. And we have not been Quicken that I think that we're Quicken means everything flows, everything sitting on all eight cylinders, because the Holy Spirit has resurrected that Spirit in us.

Terry Steen: 16:15

And that's part of our message and finishing strong and everything we're doing, we just want our listeners to if they don't get anything else to grab a hold of that thought, that there's so much that God still wants to do in their future. But they have to leave those regrets behind.

Brian Roland: 16:34

Also think that Quicken is it's putting thoughts in your mind. It's we're quickened by God, I think you're so you're saying basically the same thing, rumps and basically the same thing, but it's waiting. It's waiting, because you know, he's going to put something in your mind because you asked him, you asked him to take over to show you direction, and the quick and your mind that way and tells you which way to go to the right to the left or front or back. And it's waiting for that answer to and being in the spirit. Praying and waiting

Dan Wheeler: 17:02

is so critical. Every decision in life is a turning point. And God can use our beds decisions for good. It's funny, there's a story in if by Mark Batterson, about George Foreman, George Foreman in his book, got in my corner, and I was privileged to work with George and do a documentary about him. So I know George, I've been to his church. I've watched him preach, he's the real deal. But this elderly lady was asked what her favorite verse was, and it wasn't you know, John 316. It wasn't Romans 828, all the great verses you think of it was actually a phrase that's mentioned, I guess, 436 times in the King James verse in the Bible, but it's, and it came to pass. And when she was asked, Why is that your favorite portion of Scripture? She said, Because it always gives you hope. If you're in a storm, it will pass it will change because things come to pass. And if you have an idea, or you're waiting on God for an answer to prayer, you're waiting and waiting, it will come to pass your if onlys can become what if so, so wait for it. If you've been praying on something, if you've been trusting God, you know, I think of what it says Isaiah 4031, I think the end of Isaiah where it says, They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, They shall mount up with wings as eagles, They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint. And that is Isaiah 4031.

Terry Steen: 18:37

That's a great encouragement. I just pray that someone who's listening to this right now might be going through a trial, or a tough situation or something that they've been ready to throw their hands up and I I just pray that what you just shared, Dan will can it be a seed that gets planted in their spirit that lets them know that the trial will not be forever? That there will be an end?

Dan Wheeler: 19:04

Amen. Amen. And boy, that takes us to one of the greatest verses in the Bible. You know, these podcasts our time always goes by so quickly, but Romans 828 Can you beat this verse and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God to them who are the called according to His purpose. God can work anything for good guys. I had that on a plaque in my locker at QVC for 29 years. And I would look at it all the time before meetings before shows before I went out in the studio. What a great promise and you know, the worst of things. I look back now you know, Beth when she was passing away, and I was just trusting God to heal her believing he would healer. But when she took her last breath, I was like, Okay, what now Lord, and then I mean, you guys Here's another story. We went out to lunch, fearless faith was formed. And look what's happened. You know, we've got our, our morning cups of inspiration on Facebook, we have a YouTube channel, we are hosting this podcast called finish strong. And God is just taking it into all kinds of areas and we don't want to stop them. But that was an unintended consequences. something bad that happened. Beth died of stage four cancer, but I know where she is. I'll see her again. And now all things work together for good.

Terry Steen: 20:31

Yeah, I can even look back at my 84 lumber experience. And it's horrendous as that was. I have to say. It did a couple of things. It showed my in laws. I was a hard worker. It taught me some practical construction knowledge. And it made me appreciate the bank job I got even though I started at $100 a week, I was more than happy to be an air conditioning.

Dan Wheeler: 20:59

Did you learn how to get slivers out with the woods? You were handling?

Terry Steen: 21:03

I learned that as a boy in Iowa. Oh, okay. Yeah. I

Brian Roland: 21:07

think you also learned that you don't want to owe your wife money.

Terry Steen: 21:11

Exactly. I can't remember if I paid her back for that. Extra reminded she'll listen to this and remind me exactly

Brian Roland: 21:19

going shopping Terry.

Dan Wheeler: 21:21

Unintended consequences. I mean, guys, we can all look back and things that we thought were so bad at the time. Turn out to for the good. And yeah, let's go to Romans 837. Another great verse. We are more than conquerors in all these things. We are more than conquerors through him that loved us. And the word use there for Congress is like it's like you don't just win, you win big time. Your opponent has no chance. And our opponent, of course, is same.

Terry Steen: 21:52

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if that's something that, I guess as Christians, we fight it all the time, because the enemy is coming at us so hard for different things. And it's easy to have ups and downs. It's easy to have a day where we're not feeling it and we feel like we're defeated. And I think we all go through that. And I was sharing a one of my morning cups the other day about Gideon and how God how God looked at Gideon and said he had dressed him as a mighty warrior. And even though Gideon felt like he was nothing, Gideon felt like his tribe was the least that he couldn't do anything. God already saw Him the way He truly was in God's eyes. And that's the way we are today. We're mighty warriors. That's how God sees us. But we have to get that in their spirit and see it ourselves.

Brian Roland: 22:46

You know, I like it in verse 37. There, he said then, and the King James versions, it's nay, and all these things we are more than conquerors. I think when the devil is coming at you, which he does, he tries to throw you off stride, and that's what gets us thinking of ourselves doing things for ourselves. You just got to look at him and say, Nene. It's not it's not happening this time, then a go. Yeah,

Dan Wheeler: 23:10

not today.

Terry Steen: 23:11

Not today.

Dan Wheeler: 23:14

Well, then Romans eight as if it couldn't get any better. It closes with what are honestly my two favorite verses. It says, For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor principalities, or powers are things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord, isn't interesting, guys. He covers everything in those two verses, time and space and principalities and powers. And it's interesting that he starts off with death, because death has been known as the Great separator. Even death can't separate us from the love right? Christ is that that man that makes you want to jump and shout and say, hallelujah?

Terry Steen: 24:08

Yeah, and just to think about his love, you know, that's something we can't really grasp. But if we could, I mean, just the like you say, the depth of that love and how no matter what we do, there can be no regret, no thing we have ever done in our life, that can't have allow us to maintain that love relationship with God, when I

Brian Roland: 24:33

see that it says shall be able to separate us from Love of God. That's what eternity is going to be like, for those who haven't accepted Christ who don't have a personal relationship. They're going to be separated from them forever. With no communication, no community ultimate regret, right? The ultimate regret. Exactly.

Dan Wheeler: 24:50

Boy for sure. That's the ultimate if only ah, boy, you know, height and depth mark in his book, if taught It's about this depth that's below I think the island of Guam. It's something like 6.85 miles below surface. That's the ultimate deepest part on Earth, and then you go out to this galaxy, that's billions and billions of light years away. And in that contrast, you can't get away from God's love, though nothing. So how do we finish strong with all of this? Well, let's let's face it st wants you to worry about the past. The President doesn't want you to focus on the future. And there's a saying that Yesterday is history. tomorrow's a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. I always like, it's like that.

Terry Steen: 25:46

I see what you did there. Thank you.

Dan Wheeler: 25:48

Thank you, Terry, when you close out, because there's some people we talked about some of the really huge if only, there are some people that can't forgive themselves for choices. They they're living in the past. I know I, I have had trouble letting go of something that happened to me over 10 years ago. But you have to God wants us to run and run the race and finish strong. Would you pray for everyone in that situation? Sure,

Terry Steen: 26:14

sure. Or we come before you right now. Thanking you knowing Lord, that you're here that you hear us. And we just lift up everyone who is listening to this podcast right now, God, whatever they're going through, whatever regrets may have come to their mind that they haven't been able to release or to forgive themselves. Or if it's keeping them from relationship with you, God, we pray that You would open their hearts, open their minds, and let them realize father that that can be released that can be forgiven, and that you Lord, or the great Forgiver you don't only forgive you forget. And so we pray now, Lord, for each person, no matter what that is, whether it's someone who gave up a child, whether it was something to that effect, whether it was something with relationships with family, or whether it were things said that created such a division that they've never even been able to talk again. Whether it's a career change that became a failure, whether it's a bankruptcy of business, whatever it is God we know you can start today. We can let go of the past. And we can move forward with your power and with your strength, Lord, and with your Holy Spirit God, and we can have those What if moments. And I pray, Lord, that You would open up hearts and minds God, to everyone listening to this right now, Father, and that you would instill that into their spirit guide that they would let go of the regrets and move forward. Trusting in you, Father, we thank you. And we praise You for it in your holy name. Amen. All right,

Dan Wheeler: 28:00

God can turn your earphone knees into what if possibilities? Here's a great what if? What if he joined us for the next edition of finish strong? We'll be here waiting. God bless everybody.

John Matarazzo: 28:15

Thank you for listening to finish strong. For more information about finish strong and fearless faith. Check out their website F faith.org. Make sure that you rate and review this podcast to help more people accomplish their God given purpose so that together we can finish strong