What Will They Say at Your Funeral? #13

Hosts Dan, Terry, and Brian discus how you can Live Your Legacy!

They will help you live your life with purpose, change someone’s life for the better and leave a lasting impact on those around you. Everyone starts the race... but only the Fearless Finish Strong!
 
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Transcript

Terry Steen: 0:02

I really feel better because when you started saying the most amazing legacy in history, I thought for sure you were talking about yourself. Much better than now that you are humble enough

Brian Roland: 0:15

He's kind of a big deal, Terry

Dan Wheeler: 0:18

I've got the nameplate right here.

John Matarazzo: 0:21

Live your life with purpose, change someone's life for the better, and leave a lasting impact on those around you. Welcome to finish strong, the podcast designed to help you discover your unique purpose and develop a plan to leave a powerful legacy. In this episode, Dan, Bryan and Terry discuss how you can live your legacy. Here's Dan to get us started.

Dan Wheeler: 0:43

You hear a lot about leaving a legacy. What does that really mean? Have you thought about your legacy? Is it just financial? Or is it of eternal value? Well, we're going to talk about it today on Finish strong this episode, we're going to call living your legacy because we feel like if you want to leave a legacy, you need to live your legacy every day. And I'm your host, Dan Wheeler joined by Brian Rowland and Terry Steen, my partners and fearless faith, Terry, leaving a legacy involves so many things, but it's something we need to be thinking about, especially as we grow older.

Terry Steen: 1:22

Exactly. And I just wish I would have spent more time I guess thinking about it when I was younger, because you know, as we're hitting the age we are now it's just something that kind of stares you right in the face. And you realize Whoa, times getting short.

Dan Wheeler: 1:38

You know, Brian and I were just talking about that. We said is Terry going to leave a legacy of any kind here? Just kidding...

Terry Steen: 1:46

Yeah,

Dan Wheeler: 1:47

well, let's go to our elder statesman, Brian, because Brian, leaving a legacy he's got to be staring you in the face,

Brian Roland: 1:55

Staring me in the face, you know, talking earlier about leaving our legacies and just what Terry said to it, but but leads me to thinking about what have we done for the Lord? And that's like fearless faith is was formed on what what are we giving back? And what are we doing and, and it's the same thing where people are watching what we're doing and what we're saying and how we're reacting to things. And not just, just just family, but other people around us. And people we don't even know are just watching us watching us in a car or watching us in a store. Just they see how we react to things and how we handle things. And, and if we are truly living like like God said to me said, you know, we love one another like I loved you. But Jesus told us and and we live in that kind of a legacy. And it's very important to deliver a legacy so that you can leave something for the next generation to grow on. And they can use that as a platform that they can move forward with their life. They start earlier than like than I did. Thank God, I hope they do. Because like, like you said, I'm staring in the face. Yeah, I just ducked under a mistake the other day. So hopefully, I'm going to be around for another 20-30 years, but Well, at least 20. So we'll give it a shot.

Dan Wheeler: 3:00

Okay, well, stay tuned, because a little later on. I'm going to tell you about one of the most amazing legacies in history. It comes from a guy named Jonathan Edwards. He was a preacher during the 1700s he preached the famous sermon, sinners in the hands of an angry guy, but we're gonna talk during this episode about what you want your headstone to read. How do you want it to read? We're gonna talk about what would you want your obituary to say? And what legacy will you leave your family? I looked up Billy Graham's headstone, guys just to see what it says he has on their preacher of the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. And then he has the verse john 14 six, which says Jesus answered, I'm the way the truth and the life no one comes to the Father except through me. And I thought, leave it to Billy Graham, to leave a witness even on his headstone.

Terry Steen: 3:50

Yeah, that's pretty neat, isn't it? Anyone even going to read the headstone even after his death, he is leaving a witness. That's pretty cool that I thought

Brian Roland: 4:01

I like to have on mine though. "I told you I was sick."

Dan Wheeler: 4:07

That's a good one, B. On Beth's we put she loved all and was loved by all and First Corinthians 13 because that was Beth. She was all about love. So what are you about? I've thought about a couple of one I thought maybe he prayed, or he walked with God. But then after reading Billy's I thought, boy, if we could leave a witness, even on our headstone, I mean, that would be a lasting legacy too

Terry Steen: 4:34

so true. I've thought about that. Since we began working on this episode, I really hadn't thought about it much. And the reality is I may get cremated and not have a headstone. So I think if I were to analyze my life and what one of my priorities would be that I'd like to be said it would be something like he served others first because I've tried to make my life a life of servanthood and would probably use Matthew

7: 5:03

12 will do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But that servant hood is what I'm trying to really get get through life with.

Dan Wheeler: 5:14

And you've gotten better. I remember in college, you had an underhand serve in tennis. Brian, what do you think you'd want to say? Have you given any thought?

Brian Roland: 5:24

It's interesting, because I was thinking that same verse that Terry said, but what I thought if if I had a headstone, what I would want on it is a friend to everyone, a stranger to no one. You know, I thought that

Dan Wheeler: 5:36

was more Oh, that's interesting.

Brian Roland: 5:37

I think I'm about I mean, I people say, yeah, friends everywhere you go, well, it's, it's I just like meeting people, and like being around people. And that's just what I think I'd like to have on my headstone. If I ever have one,

Dan Wheeler: 5:49

I think that applies to you, I can testify to that Brian has friends everywhere. He's a friendly sort of a guy. I like it. Terry, maybe you and I should try that. Can you have multiple lines on your headstone your way down?

Brian Roland: 6:07

Standing ones, you know, instead of standing,

Terry Steen: 6:10

I'm gonna have to have a real big stone, and then I'll try to get one out of 10 or something like that?

Dan Wheeler: 6:17

Well, but a legacy is really something that will endure. And we read about that in the Bible, Matthew, 619, and 20. Jesus says, do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal For where your treasure is. There. Your heart will be also. So I asked you are you thinking about investing in finances, property buildings, we need to be investing in lives. Because when lives are changed, that has eternal value, Brian, have you thought about that a changed life is changed for eternity.

Brian Roland: 7:07

That's the truth. You know, Dan, and the thing is, is that I've never been one to go out and pass out tracks and you know, stand on the corner or preaching salvation to people. But it's I always thought I want to sleep by example. And that people asked me which happens and they said, you know, the main thing I get was from people so cocky mirror always smiling and nice. This my mom that is smart. People say I'm always smiling. She goes, tell them because you have Jesus in your heart. And it's true. And when people say to me is how can you go through with this? or How can you do that? I just tell him as Jesus, he's in my heart. And if he's in your heart, you can do that as well.

Terry Steen: 7:39

Yeah, that's a great witness. You know, the Bible has a lot to say no, I read Matthew 6:19 and 20. We're going to share a few other verses. Brian and Terry each have verses from the Psalms that talk about this, Brian, Psalm

78: 7:53

40 have that one.

Brian Roland: 7:55

Yeah. It says we will not hide them from their descendants, we will tell the next generation, the Praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. So it's not going to stop here with you, it's going to go on. And so you'll want to live that legacy.

Terry Steen: 8:12

Yeah. And if you look down further into psalms 145, it kind of echoes what you just said, The, it says one generation will commend your works to another and they will tell of your mighty acts. Think about the generation before you think about your parents. Think about your grandparents, and what you learn from them. What did they pass on to you, and this is exactly what that's talking about. And we have such a responsibility to pass down to our kids and to our grandkids, the stories you know, we know that society is diluting the Bible in Christianity day by day by day, it's important for us to make sure that those stories are in their hearts.

Dan Wheeler: 9:01

Joshua talks about this in the book of Joshua, he had taken 12 stones out of the Jordan River when he was at Gilgal. And he says in verse 21, in the future, he was talking to the Israelites in the future when your descendants asked their fathers, what did these stones mean? Tell them Israel cross the Jordan on dry ground for the Lord your God dried up the Jordan, before you until you had crossed over the Lord your God did the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea. When he dried it up before us until we had crossed over he did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful, and so that you might always fear the LORD your God and that's passing it on to the next generation.

Terry Steen: 9:48

Yeah,

Brian Roland: 9:49

yeah. And over in Deuteronomy Six, five through seven. I think it tells it all right here when it says love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. We've all heard that So many times. But the next one is these commandments that I give you today are to be in your hearts and press them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home. And when you walk along the road when you lie down, and when you get up. He wants us to remember these in the past them along.

Dan Wheeler: 10:17

Boy, that's good. I was doing a little research this afternoon, and I came across an amazing legacy I talked about one of the most amazing in history. Jonathan and Sarah Edwards. They lived in the 1700s. He was a famous preacher, as I mentioned, very influential in the the Great Awakening, the great spiritual awakening, which we're praying for happens again, here in the United States and all around the world. But Jonathan and Sarah had 11 children, wow, they live busy lives. And as their children got older, they will always include them in important discussions about life. Well, in the 1900s, someone did a study of the genealogy of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards to look at the kind of legacy they they did listen to this of their descendants. There were 100 lawyers, and a dean of a law school. There were 80 holders of public office 66 physicians and a dean of a medical school 65 college and university professors, 30 judges, 13 college presidents, three mayors of large cities, three state governors, three US senators, a Comptroller of the US Treasury and a vice president of the United States. Wow. Now I'm a little embarrassed because I might have a couple of wannabe comedians I don't know. Is that not amazing?

Terry Steen: 11:54

That's amazing. And I just I really feel better. Because when you started saying the most amazing legacy in history, I thought for sure you're talking about yourself. Much better now that you are humble. And

Brian Roland: 12:10

it's kind of a big deal.

Terry Steen: 12:11

I know. I know.

Dan Wheeler: 12:13

You know, I guess I do have the nameplate right... Of course, you can't see it.

Terry Steen: 12:21

Can you imagine a family legacy like that? That's incredible.

Dan Wheeler: 12:26

I really can't budget to talk about setting the standard, right, the gold standard. Obviously, they have very a lot of smart people, which that would exclude me from ever having that.

Terry Steen: 12:40

But you know what, I think it comes down to Dan, it's doing it intentionally. It's living intentionally. And I think that's exactly what happened with that family. Just like any successful life doesn't happen by accident. You're not going to leave a lasting legacy by accident. It has to be intentional. And that's something that, you know, I've talked about servanthood and that being one of my priorities in life, and you have to be very intentional about doing that. When I go on an airplane. I always keep my eye open for a lady or somebody or an older person who's not able to get the luggage up on the high rack. Always looking to do that. Or I'm very conscious about holding doors open for people

Dan Wheeler: 13:27

But, Terry isn't an embarrassing when you can't lift their suitcase up and you fall over.

Terry Steen: 13:32

Hey, come on. It's only happened twice.

Dan Wheeler: 13:37

I remember that time you fell backwards.

Terry Steen: 13:45

Okay, the one time I pulled a hammy

Dan Wheeler: 13:55

I guess we digress. But you're right looking for those opportunities.

Terry Steen: 14:00

Yeah, definitely.

Brian Roland: 14:01

I was gonna say something because it's the little things that you do. Like we have new neighbors that moved in across the street. It's a young couple their first home. They're the great kids now we just love them. But they were gone a lot. And they kept getting packages every day getting packages, and you're on the front door. So I had gotten his phone number. When he first got here. We exchanged numbers. So I started texting him saying he had these huge packages on the front. And he was just leaving it back in a couple days. And I'm going you don't want to leave my front. There's too many of these porch pirates around. So I went over just started putting him in the backyard and moving them over there. And then one got so big, man, this is just heavy. Am I my other neighbor comes out and he goes kind of help you with that. And we both got it to the backyard. But that was just something you do. And people notice that my neighbor noticed me doing it. He came over to help me. I just thought that was it was amazing. But that's the type of stuff that people noticing.

Dan Wheeler: 14:47

I hope it wasn't a full size pool table that you were moving.

Brian Roland: 14:50

I did tell you what, it's like a dresser. It was huge. It was

Dan Wheeler: 14:53

Wow. Well you know when I'm with my grandkids is when I think about it. I'll often try to do something To show them, you know, the way a Christian should be like pay for the groceries or pay for the person behind me in line at wawan. And then they're always so thankful. And usually the cashier will say something like, that was so nice, then we'll get in the car, and we'll talk about it. My grandkids will say, asked me why I did that. I'll say, you know, because, as a Christian, we're supposed to do those acts of service so that others can see Christ in us. And then I always say to the person Well, God has blessed me and I hope that you'll pass it on pay it forward. But that's that's intentional living, as you said, Terry, hold the door open for someone. help someone who's struggling help push a car out of a ditch. Have you ever in winter? Well, you guys don't live around snow but I still do.

Brian Roland: 15:45

used to

Dan Wheeler: 15:46

Yeah, but I've done that where you know, you just want to drive by and keep going and make sure you don't get stuck. And then I always feel like, Ah, okay, better pull it over, go back, see if they need help. And you're hoping they say

Terry Steen: 15:58

You know, another neat thing, when you talk about no. grandkids is to let them see you reading the Bible. Let them see you praying very word them. So important. Ask them to pray really instill that. So they see papa. And they see their dad doing that. And that just goes a long way to set. I know my dad, anytime if I would get up early in the morning nor before normal and he hadn't left for work yet. I would walk out in that kitchen. And he was eating breakfast and reading his Bible at six o'clock in the morning before he built a work. And I never forgot that.

Brian Roland: 16:40

you know, we used to have family altar after supper every night. And we would sit around and read the Bible and read the story and and talk about it. And my next door neighbor, he came over here to come over and sit there with us. One of my best friends. he'd sit there with us. And listen, he remembers that to this day. It's just like my where he goes, I used to come by there because it was just I couldn't believe you guys were just sharing like you were sharing and talking and praying. And there's nobody, nobody did that in his family.

Dan Wheeler: 17:05

Yeah, the Bible tells us in Matthew 2237, thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all the heart with all the strength will all thy soul. And we need to pass that on. And I love to tell my my grandkids Bible stories and I try to make them real exciting, you know, and put some drama in them. And they're usually very interested then we talk about it, teaching them songs. I was teaching little brookey the other day she was in the car riding with me and we were singing the B I B L E Yes, that's the book for me. You know, but those songs are so important to get in their spirit. So who left a legacy for you guys who can you think of I can think of two men along with with my parents. But I'd like to hear from you first Brian.

Brian Roland: 17:46

Yeah, I there was several guys that I that were in my church, my Sunday school teachers and then as I was growing up, Nick Calavecchio, Tony Gugliotta and Joe Gugliotta, John Wilson, Lenny Phillips, all these guys are

Terry Steen: 17:56

Sounds like the mafia.

Brian Roland: 17:59

But I'll tell you Bruce Matar just impressed me so much and, and he was our dentist and but he's big in the churches for song leading and for teaching. But he never heard a bad word come out of his mouth. You always saw him helping others helping other families. And he was always inspiration to me. And I can always go to him and talk to him about anything at any time. Because my dad passed away right after I got out of school. And I had questions that, especially that coming from college, I had other questions. And he was always there for me. And so that's that's a legacy. He left man and he just passed away this last year, but I'll never forget him.

Dan Wheeler: 18:33

Hmm, that's great, Terry.

Terry Steen: 18:35

Well, of course, my parents, they would be key for me, especially my dad, my dad was such a man of integrity, such a hard worker. And I got at least one out of two of those. Hmm, so I won't tell you which one, okay. I'm still thinking. Now, and then another one was a guy, a gentleman in our church. He was a deacon, he owned a bridge company, a really wealthy man, influential man, his name was George Kramer, and he always helped and looked out for other people. He gave three of my brothers he gave jobs on the bridge construction crew, and I even worked in the summers of college there. And he helped me get connection at evangel College to get a baseball scholarship. And he was just always using his influence to help others and that always really set with me,

Dan Wheeler: 19:32

my best friend's dad, Don Random. My parents were divorced when I was younger, but his dad would pick me up for school every day. They live just one block over. And he'd come to all of our sports games, and he would always find something positive that you did during a game and he talked about it, and just builds you up and lift you up. And I have to say, in all my time I spent around him I never ever heard him say a bad word about me. Anybody else never talked about other people except in glowing manners. Yeah. But I had another guy, Don Glasgow, he was the head of the area Youth for Christ in my county. And he really got me involved in Bible quizzing. And we would go on these bus trips and and he was so influential to me. And of course, my parents, my mom was such a prayer warrior. And she taught me to pray and we knelt when we prayed, what a legacy. But, you know, we're getting near the end of our time together. And I want you to think about this question. What would you want people to say about your funeral? You know, your picture, that you're laying there in the casket and people are coming up? What are you hoping they would they would say, I hope they'd say, Wow, he was really a giver. He was a man of integrity. He was a man of faith. And he indeed loved his Lord about you, Terry?

Terry Steen: 20:54

Yeah, that that would be what I would hope. I think that's still where I'm striving and don't feel that that's easily going to come out of people's mouths that I love God with all my heart, and I did my best to serve and obey Him. But, but I also want to leave that servanthood in there as well. And one of the things I thought about was that I'd like them to say he lived to enjoy every day. He said yes, more than he said, No, he loved to have fun. Had a good sense of humor, love to laugh. I think those are important things to when your friends and family remember. Yep. Okay, I know, you questioned my sense of humor, but we can talk about,

Dan Wheeler: 21:35

Oh, what's that humorous? Oh, okay.

Brian Roland: 21:39

I agree with the area. I thought about it. And I was looking at what I would write an obituary, which is a lot of things I'd want the people to say. And it would be like, I'm going to live life to its fullest. I seldom was without a smile on my face and and that people knew that I was a born again Christian that I was a God fearing man that and respected the gospel and use the Bible as my true north and, and that I was a faithful husband for I'm gonna say over 30 years because I want to be here a little longer. But I just I look at that. And that again, like a he's a friend to everyone and a stranger. No. And that's what I want them to say,

Dan Wheeler: 22:13

well, we're in our 60s. Brian's about seven, zero, but our producer is a mere child. Thirty Five years old, right, john

John Matarazzo: 22:26

36, 36.

Dan Wheeler: 22:28

Did did anything we say today connect with you about leaving a legacy or what you want people to say about at your funeral or your obituary?

John Matarazzo: 22:38

Oh, my goodness, yes. There's several things that you guys talked about in this conversation that has sparked things where people have left a legacy in my life. Number one, when I was growing up, I would come down in the morning before my dad went to work, I would see him and my mom having their devotion time together at the kitchen table, spending time with the Lord. And that just instilled something in me that the love of the Word of God, the importance of putting the Lord first every single day. And then I was also thinking about my grandfather. He was 98 when he passed away. He was a world war two veteran, and he was so worried about the legacy that he was going to leave for his grandkids. And he took us out for breakfast all the time. And so he was intentionally trying to do things so that we will remember him. And he his love for ice cream has been instilled in me so much that every time I have ice cream, I can't not think about him. And the lessons that he's taught me.

Brian Roland: 23:36

That's so cool

Dan Wheeler: 23:36

Yeah, super guys, what impressed me about our discussion is all of us had examples. And we were all paying attention when we were smaller as to what we wanted to be when we grew up, and and that needs to inspire us to pass it on to the next generation. What stood out to you, Terry?

Terry Steen: 23:54

Well, I think the key for me was be proactive, be intentional, is make sure you do everything you can to please God as you move forward.

Dan Wheeler: 24:04

Yeah. Brian, Final Thoughts?

Brian Roland: 24:05

Yeah, I really think that it's again, people observing what you're doing at all times. I don't have any children. So but it's other people that are around me, that I'm trying to leave a lasting impression on.

Dan Wheeler: 24:15

You know, that reminds me of something. I had a gentleman come up to me at one of my reunions that was probably 10 years ago. And he said, Dan Wheeler, I've been looking for you for a long time to tell you I'm a Christian because of you. And I said, Really? What What did I ever do? And he said, Well, before every basketball game, you'd sneak off into a corner, and everybody saw you we knew what you were doing you you knelt and prayed.

Terry Steen: 24:39

Yeah. How neat is that?

Brian Roland: 24:44

You never know who's watching.

Terry Steen: 24:45

And I just thought Thank you. Thank you, Lord. I never thought anybody watched but you know, you always are. So we've got to think about that. We've got to live intentionally, to leave a legacy. You have to live a legacy. JOHN, how can people rate this podcast.

John Matarazzo: 25:02

So wherever you are listening to this podcast, be it Spotify or Apple podcast or Google, go to wherever you can rate and review and give this podcast five stars the one that you're listening to right now and make sure that you write a little paragraph that helps more people discover this by accident. But you can also help people discover it on purpose by leaving a legacy and sharing that with friends and family and passing on the things that you're learning from these guys have fearless faith, for the finish strong podcast. And so you can go to F faith.org to see everything that they have to offer their morning cups of inspiration, and you don't wanna miss a thing.

Dan Wheeler: 25:39

Well, I want to thank John and Brian and Terry, guys, this is so much fun doing this podcast with you and to be able to leave a legacy and share our stories. And we so appreciate you listening. We hope you'll tell your friends and your family and share this podcast with others. Until next time, I'm Dan saying leave a legacy every day. Live your legacy and always finish strong.

John Matarazzo: 26:11

Thank you for listening to finish strong. For more information about finished strong and fearless faith. Check out their website@faith.org make sure that you rate and review this podcast to help more people accomplish their God given purpose so that together we can Finish Strong